Golf With Des

Take a seat before you read any more – You’ll need it!

As recently reported right here on Golf with Des, last week Chris chose “other stuff” over playing Thursday night golf.

I can right now tell you what these “other stuff” actually were…

Rather than play Thursday night Golf with the Golf with Des team, Chris actually chose to go supermarket shopping with his girlfriend, Lucy!

And it gets worse – Lucy had actually been at home all day and could have done the shopping whilst Chris was at work thus enabling him to play – not just any golf, but Thursday night golf.   But she didn’t!

Instead she sat at home watching This Morning with Philip Schofield and Holly Willoughby and then after a light lunch, probably consisting of salmon, cream cheese and rivitas, she probably watched a vintage black and white film with an especially happy ending on non other than Channel 4!

When this sort of thing happens, it can mean one thing and one thing only and I’m afraid it is not good news…

Lucy is having an…affair.

Although Stan wasn’t well enough to go to work due to his tooth ache (Ouch, Awwww), he is well enough to travel all the way London to go and see Queen!

And its not even the proper Queen, HRH Liz, it’s the band Queen, which if we’re honest, shouldn’t really be allowed to call themselves Queen as Freddie’s dead and the others are so old they shouldn’t be on a stage playing loud rock music, they should be going to bed early so they can get up at pensioner-o-clock.  Disgraceful.

No golf this week or next as Stan has had various “issues” with his teeth which has stopped him from playing golf and also co-incidentally, stopped him from being at work.

Now we all get a bit of tooth ache now and then – Ohhhh, Owwwww, but I don’t remember ever having to have time off work due to it – Apart from visits to the dentist.

Anyway Stan can’t play next week as he’s planning on having all of his teeth removed and replaced by some sort of “Bionic” false teeth which will have a hidden GPS feature that will provide ball and hole distance details to within the nearest 5 yrds, so don’t be suprised if in the coming weeks Stan starts to win for a change.

Stan let it slip that he’s not particularly fond of visiting the dentist and I suspect he is more than slightly fearful about his forthcoming visit, so he probably doesn’t want to know about this Yahoo answers post…Eeeeek!

No doubt we’ll hear more about this from Stan himself…

We love eggs.

And we love Eggland.

But more than anything, we love their Customer’s Comments

Stan returns to work after his audition for the part of Fireman Sam without realising he didn’t completely change…

I’m hoping he decides to sport his helmet during this weeks exciting game of golf on Thursday…

And, whilst you’re at Fireman Sam’s site, make sure you check out the Card Creator – Here’s the one I did for Stan…

Fantastic.

KP have replied to the email I sent them earlier although it really wasn’t worth them bothering:

Thank you for contacting us by email in connection with a packet of KP Dry Roasted Peanuts. It is regretted that the packet contained an excessive amount of powdered coating and we would ask you to accept our apologies for the unfortunate occurrence. Please could you let us know the weight of the packet, the Best Before date and any coding deails from the back and also your land address. Upon receipt of these details we will be happy to reimburse you for your purchase.

Regards
XXXXX XXXXXXXXX

Lets try again….