Golf With Des

All about Golf with David, Elly and Stan! And probably some other stuff too…


Archive for the ‘This Week’s Round’ Category

Chris’ Other Stuff Comes to Light!

Take a seat before you read any more – You’ll need it!

As recently reported right here on Golf with Des, last week Chris chose “other stuff” over playing Thursday night golf.

I can right now tell you what these “other stuff” actually were…

Rather than play Thursday night Golf with the Golf with Des team, Chris actually chose to go supermarket shopping with his girlfriend, Lucy!

And it gets worse – Lucy had actually been at home all day and could have done the shopping whilst Chris was at work thus enabling him to play – not just any golf, but Thursday night golf.   But she didn’t!

Instead she sat at home watching This Morning with Philip Schofield and Holly Willoughby and then after a light lunch, probably consisting of salmon, cream cheese and rivitas, she probably watched a vintage black and white film with an especially happy ending on non other than Channel 4!

When this sort of thing happens, it can mean one thing and one thing only and I’m afraid it is not good news…

Lucy is having an…affair.

Welcome to the magical world of 34!

Thursday night was a good night to play golf.

In a week that saw NO Chris, mainly due to having “other stuff” to do, I had my best round ever on Fountains.

Yay yay yay I shot a 34 yay yay yay

David shoots a 34 on Fountains - The first 34 for a number of years

The score says it all…

I won’t get too far up my own arse as there is still room for improvement – there is at least another 2 easy shots I could have lost, but suffice to say, it was an easy victory…

But, taking it back to the real world, what exactly does “other stuff” mean? Can anyone shed any light on any of the “other stuff” that Chris had to do? And what might it be that was more important than playing golf? Apart from skiing, I can think of nothing else (that doesn’t involve penetrating females) that is more important than playing golf – especially on a warm sunny early summer evening with the promise of a chilled beer or two afterwards.

In fact even the might Google only has this to offer as far as “other stuff” is concerned…

One thing I nearly forgot – It was actually a double victory – As well as scoring the 34, I also landed my 8th hole tee shot on the green nearest the pin and therefore scooped the prize money of a whole £3!!!

One Week Later (and we’re not Zombies)

Well, here we are two weeks in on the Thursday Evening golfing season and what a start it’s been.  Last week was a massive early victory for me beating both The Mighty Alan Allen and Stan by 7 (or 8, but there’s the controversy) strokes!

I didn’t play my best, but I did play consistently which meant I finished on 40 (or 39 if the truth be known) whilst Stan and The Mighty Alan Allen(Grrrrr!) both finished on 47.

Stan wears jeans and trainers but looks nothing like this

Stan wears jeans and trainers but looks nothing like this

But, the main issue was the fact that Stan (who is a member no less) turned up and played in jeans and trainers!

I did try to report him to the staff to have him removed, but they chose to ignore me for some reason unknown.  Anyway, we’ve made a short film about the 1st week’s game, which should be online at some point this week.

This week was a different kettle of fish completely, with Stan managing to bring it all together whilst The Mighty Alan Allen and I languished behind.  Stan started well and kept his lead all through the game and even though I pulled back a few shots, he made sure that he was always out of reach, so fair play to him, the little shit.

Thursday Night Golf Is Back – Yippee!

Stan loves Thursday night golf

Stan loves Thursday night golf

The title says it all!

Tonight’s tee-time is 18:10 and although Stan and I are both playing even though we are both injured, we’ve not had confirmation as yet if The Mighty Alan Allen is playing or not, so anything could happen!

Sadly I’m afraid another season is about to start without Elly playing…

David takes severe arsing from Stan(In a golf way, not an anal sex way)

Oh dear, well it had to happen at some point didn’t it?  After not playing for more than a month, Stan and I played the Pine Valley course this Saturday morning and although it pains me to admit it, Stan beat me very convincingly by 11 shots.

The conditions were tough and infact, I don’t think I’ve ever played a course that was as muddy and as wet – Every time your club hit the ground through the swing, it caused a great “gloop” of mud and water to spray up onto your face(I resisted putting a link on that one…:-))

Stan took an early lead, but after the 1st 8 or 9 holes I’d managed to draw level and then Stan somehow drew on some freaky inner strength and no matter what I did, he managed to play a better shot.

By the time we’d reached the 14th, I’d pretty much given up, but Stan was on top form and really deserved to win this time.

Little Shit

“But where is the Mighty Alan Allen(TMAA)?” I hear you all ask.  Well TMAA is currently “on the bench” due to a skiing injury that happened last week at Xscape at Castleford.  He tried to jump off a kicker that really wasn’t a kicker and ended up catching a ski and landing badly fracturing his shoulder in a couple of places as well as tearing a tendon.

Ouch.  He’s far too mighty for us normal folk, but hopefully, he’ll be back in a few weeks.

Golf or lack off

No golf this week or next as Stan has had various “issues” with his teeth which has stopped him from playing golf and also co-incidentally, stopped him from being at work.

Stan has various teeth related issues

Stan has various teeth related issues

Now we all get a bit of tooth ache now and then – Ohhhh, Owwwww, but I don’t remember ever having to have time off work due to it – Apart from visits to the dentist.

Anyway Stan can’t play next week as he’s planning on having all of his teeth removed and replaced by some sort of “Bionic” false teeth which will have a hidden GPS feature that will provide ball and hole distance details to within the nearest 5 yrds, so don’t be suprised if in the coming weeks Stan starts to win for a change.

Appearing soon in a mouth near Stan

Appearing soon in a mouth near Stan

Stan let it slip that he’s not particularly fond of visiting the dentist and I suspect he is more than slightly fearful about his forthcoming visit, so he probably doesn’t want to know about this Yahoo answers post…Eeeeek!

No doubt we’ll hear more about this from Stan himself…

And We’re Back

Tonight's Score Card


Hard to believe it’s almost been a year since we last had any activity on the site, but it’s true!  There is so much for you all to catch up with, but to keep this one short, suffice to say I won.  Actually, I didn’t, I came joint 1st with Mighty Alan Allen, but then he is mighty and I am not.

Also, I’d like to welcome the latest non-celebrity golfer, Chris Forster!  Chris can be contacted on extn 234 if you need help with Carl’s, Stan’s or Craig P’s accounts.  When Chris isn’t playing golf, he likes to spend his time cheese racing.

Chris tells us he’s only played 6 or 7 times and then had to give up due to an injury he received whilst competing as a cheeseracer.  Now fully recovered, he chose Golf with Des as his golfing come back appearance and ended up shooting a non-too healthy 62 – Better luck next time Chris.

As the nights are now drawing in, I’m not sure that there will be any more Golf With Des Thursday evening sessions this year, although we may just be able to sneak one more…

Chris Chips onto the 5th green

and then gets whippy with it on the 6th…

New Record!

Thought I’d better quickly log in and post the great news that the course record has been broken TWICE in the last 2 weeks. Yes, that’s TWICE!

Last week Alan hit a sweet 36 to break the previous best of 37 set by David over a year ago, then last night I had my best ever round and carded 34, 5 pars and 4 bogeys. Pretty pleased with it i’ve got to say.

AND i’ve got a new scanner, so i can show you the card without having to wait for David….

Elly didn’t quite manage a record-breaking round, but he did have a strop and stormed off after the 6th hole as you can see from the scorecard.

Me and David are now members so we’ll be playing on the championship course, Willow Valley, more often now including tomorrow where we tee off @ 0830.

We all played there last week, and had buggies. It was fun, but we were all rubbish. I had the lowest score of 115 which just about says it all.

Here’s a few pictures of us, with buggies!

We had to keep separate scorecards because it was a ’proper’ round, so here is mine and elly’s effort:


This weeks round saw me off too a good start with 4s on both the 1st and second hole.

My putting let me down on the third where I shot a 5 and then things started to go downhill from there on.

My tee shot on the 5th went into the woods (whats new) and rather than hitting and hoping to get out like I usually do, I thought I’d hit a nice low punch shot to get out of the trees. WRONG DECISION

I hit a tree and snapped my 3 iron! WHOOPS!!!

David has informed me it will cost £15 to be re-shafted, so I have started saving for it.

The plus point for my round was I found a Callaway golf ball, which I know retail at £2 each, so that given, the re-shafting is really only going to cost me £13. Bonus.

The 8th was my best hole where I got par and I finished the round on 49, 2 shots worse than last week but taking into account that it was going dark, I was quite pleased overall.

Tuesday night golf is fantastic!

I’m going to trust Stan to provide our avid readers with a full review as I will be holiday-ing tomorrow and I’m on a very tight schedule regarding sleep / taxi collection times in the early AM.

Suffice to say our final evening GWD was a good one…