Golf With Des

All about Golf with David, Elly and Stan! And probably some other stuff too…

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Archive for February, 2007

The Return of Des

It’s been a long time coming, but finally we here at www.golfwithdes.co.uk are pleased to announce the commencing of a new Golfing Season.

Keeping a golfing website alive throughout the winter months is a challenging task, and even with the lure of the recognition we might have achieved had we done so…we couldn’t be bothered. So we didn’t update it for a while….

But, we’re back now, and last weekend saw the ’Return of Des’

We chose a sunny sunday in February to engage in battle of wits and skills….and even despite the lack of action of late the results were reasonably pleasing.

David (even with his ridiculously spazzy walk – due to an ankle injury) got over the finishing line first thanks to some solid play, but there was much to be encouraged about for the coming season for myself and Elly…

David 43
Elly 46
Stan 46

David has some pictures to post. However due to his ankle-injury-induced inability to climb stairs, we will have to wait until the stairlift is installed before we can enjoy them.

Ivan the Terrible

Ivan the Terrible was a well known 16th century Russian despot.

He came to the the throne at the age of 3 after the untimely death of his father, but his mum didn’t think he was old enough to rule so she took care of things until she died when he was 8.

Power then shifted to Boyars (high ranking aristocrats) which really annoyed Ivan. In fact, it annoyed him so much that he took to throwing cats and dogs out of the windows of the Kremlin as a gesture of revenge.

He was finally crowned king when he was 16 and got off to a fairly normal start – however things started to go wrong when he had some architects blinded for designing a cathedral he didn’t really like. Absolutely despotic.

After a long war, he started to go mental and would frequent orgies then head off for prayers and fasting. He beat up his pregnant daughter-in-law for showing a bit of leg, and then in a fit of rage killed her husband (his son) with a giant pencil.

Ivan died, aged 54, during a game of chess.

Cameras were hard to come by in the 16th century so we can only get an idea of his appearance by studying artist’s impressions. Here are 3…


Ivan waits patiently for a maid to bring him his favourite cup-a-soup. The flavour is unknown but rumoured to be cream of mushroom


Sometimes Ivan would go for weeks without trimming his beard


Ivan proudly shows off the pencil he used to stab his son to death with

Idi Amin

Good Afternoon, and welcome along to another Famous Despot.

This week, let us introduce you to the world renowned Idi Amin, former despotic leader of Uganda

Not content with being called ’Idi’ or President ’Amin’, he had to go a little further and give himself the title “His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea, and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular”

Not sure how the fishes felt about that but I bet they were a bit pissed by it.

What a despot.

When he gained power, Amin promised to hold elections within months. Shortly after taking power, however, Amin established the so-called “State Research Bureau”, which were actually his own brand of death squads to hunt down and murder Obote’s supporters, as well as much of the intelligentsia, whom he distrusted. Military leaders who had not supported the coup were executed, many by beheading.

Above: Idi’s wife serves him carrots that aren’t soft enough. He’s furious.

As the years went on, Amin became increasingly erratic and outspoken. He had his tunics specially lengthened so that he could wear many World War II medals, including the Military Cross and Victoria Cross. He granted himself a number of titles, including “King of Scotland”.

What a despot.

Pop with Des

We haven’t got a category for soft drinks so I’ve had to put this in the ’beer’ one

Just got back from the caddyshack where me and Elly have had a couple of pints of diet coke. Alchy David was there and we left him enjoying his 6th pint in the company of Mr X. The caffeine’s taken hold of me a bit so i’m looking for a release so I thought I’d start a post about nothing. Hope you’re enjoying it.

Anyway, Eastenders is on and it’s particularly depressing, don’t think i’ve seen a single smile yet but I am looking forward to tonight’s episode of The Bill, where dodgy cop Zain Nadir has been involved in the murder of his colleague Honey and now has death threats against him by some big drug barons.

Good luck Zain!


Zain, from The Bill, in happier times